Friday, April 11, 2008

Top five ways you can pick a Bais Yaakov graduate out in a crowd

1. The Bais Yaakov graduate (BYG for short) will speak in a faux New York accent (even if she's not from the New York environs) with a heavy emphasis on the words "taka," "but," and "hello." This is also known as the yeshivish accent, which the BYG will have picked up either from her mother or circa seventh grade. She will pause and form her words carefully, so as to give them the proper feelings that should be associated with them.

2. The BYG will use her hands. A lot. Her favorite position will be her fingers pursed together, making a sort of scooping motion to indicate that she is saying something of great importance. She will also enjoy cupping her hands together and moving them outward from her body to show a display of emotion when talking about her avodas Hashem, her teaching job, and how she feels about the shidduch system.

3. The BYG will have a short, demure haircut. If she is about to get a short, demure haircut, she will bemoan the fact that her hair is "too long," and will constantly point this out so that you cannot point it out to her yourself. The BYG tends to wear her hair either back in a headband with the front part pushed up to make a little pouf, a half-ponytail, or a pouf secured with two crisscrossed bobbypins.

4. The BYG tends to wear clothing that is either black, blue, gray or brown. Occasionally, she will wear a pale pink or pale blue shell to offset the darkness of her clothing, but other than that, she dresses in what can generously be termed as "drab wear." Often, the BYG will wear a jacket, even during the week, in lieu of a shirt, because this will a) serve to make her look more formal and b) it is more tznius because it is not fitted and has a collar. The BYG will never wear denim, save for extreme tiyulim, and wears black Anne Klein loafers or the equivalent.

5. The BYG will carry in her purse: a small travel-size siddur, a mini Tehillim for use during someone else's chuppah, a pack of gum, a cell phone with a sticker of the Chofetz Chaim on it reminding her not to speak lashon hara, a travel-sized version of A Lesson A Day, a comb, a discreet eyeliner, a subtle lipgloss, a list of names to daven for (either people who need a shidduch, a refuah, parnassah, or some combination thereof), some cute keychain that her best friend made for her that is a picture of the two of them either at the beach (fully clothed) or in front of some landscape in Israel, and a digital camera, because you just never know.

8 comments:

pobody's nerfect. said...

quite accurate, i must say.

have you been spying on touro flatbush lately?

and don't you know, Denim is Gehinnom!!

SJ said...

This is a world of which I know very little...but I will take your word for it. :)

Ezzie said...

3. The BYG will have a short, demure haircut.

Ooooohhhh...!!! ;) It all makes sense now...!

the apple said...

PN - wow, I think this is the first time you have commented here! :D And no, I just went to a lot of weddings . . . no need to spy on Tah-row.

SJ - :)

Ezzie - nononononono. My haircut gives me personality. The other type of haircut is so people will blend in with the crowd! :D

Scraps said...

Hehehehehe. I laughed out loud at work for this one! If PN hadn't already suggested it, I'd have guessed you were spying on Touro too. ;)

I'd say you're dead-on accurate. :)

Anonymous said...

Now, now, let's be nice here...although, I gotta admit that the hairstyle thing and the clothing thing is pretty funny.

The Babysitter said...

Wow, the hair style one is so true. They all have those "poufs". That was really funny.

Stam said...

3. The BYG will have a short, demure haircut. If she is about to get a short, demure haircut, she will bemoan the fact that her hair is "too long," and will constantly point this out so that you cannot point it out to her yourself.

HILARIOUS!!!! SOOO ACCURATE!!! We call it the "Shidduchim Cut" or Post Sem Look. With hair any longer, "you'll never get a shidduch"

I'm proud to say i had grown my hair out to about 19 inches by the time i got married - maybe that will show them ;)