Diana, No I don't, but if I did, I would have lots. And I do have a picture of a really nice turkey that I once made for Thanksgiving. And challah that I baked.
Apple, Re your comment on b4s's blog about kugel being a dirty word in your house, send me an email and I'll send you some recipes for different kugels that will pass muster in the most finicky of health conscious houses.
(As confirmed and verified by girls from various seminaries)
The Deli Roll Theory posits that if a boy asks a girl (most commonly, on a date) whether or not she knows how to cook and the girl says, "I make a great deli roll," the boy may conlcude that the girl in fact has absolutely no clue how to cook.
This postulation is based on the first notion that deli roll is about as easy to make as a toasted pastrami sandwich.
It is also based on the second notion that deli roll is almost impossible to screw up. I say almost impossible because there will always be overachieving women out there that will somehow manage to make a horrible deli roll.
Proof to the theory may be presented via the known fact that if one is capable of producing a fine roast beef, brisket, or other delectable slab 'o cow, then they would much rather refer (perhaps on the aforementioned "Shidduch Resume") to that wonderful and greatly sought after skill, as opposed to their negligible deli roll abilities.
For more of my amazing theories, please press 1. For English, press 2. For Spanish, press 3. For Yiddish, press 4. For English with the extra U's, press 5. To hang up, press Esc. For an operator, please stay on the line or e-mail me.
And, btw, I believe the correct formulation of the theory should read: "The Deli Roll Theory posits that if a boy asks a girl (most commonly, on a date) whether or not she knows how to cook, and the girl says, "I make a mean deli roll," the boy may conclude that the girl, in fact, has absolutely no clue how to cook.
Jeez SJ, I can't get anything by you!!! Yes, you are correct, the original language of the theory read as you quoted.
Mad good catch. (HAHAHAHA)
And D, I'm not so much a ribs guy honestly. (Too messy.)
Delmonico steak on the other hand, or a nice silver tip... Now that's the stuff right there.
And Ezzie, I get you on the Pressing 4 (that's exactly why I put it there... hehe), but which of my other theories do you want to hear?
There's the: "Why Chassidim can't drive" theory; "Why Sharfman's girls get so fat" theory; "Why dogs like fire hydrants so much" theory; on-going "great Star Wars/Matrix debate"; "Carlito's Way vs. Scarface" theory; And I can't remember anymore at the moment...
For an operator, please stay on the line or e-mail me.
Hello, is this the operator? I was wondering if I could request some more deep and meaningful theories of life and if I could have them translated into Swahili, please? Thank you!
46 comments:
LOL!
At least you didn't put up deli roll. :P
whoohoo! awesomeness
whats the last one (dessert i assume)
Yeah, chocolate cream pie - really easy recipe.
So are you a macaroni, macaronis, macaroni and ketchup, or macaronis and ketchup kinda girl?
{withholds comments} :D
{looks at resume}
[muses to self]
"Challah in a pan which makes it look good even if the braiding was 'eh'.
Quiche?!?!?! Eeeewwww....
And a pre-made crust chocolate cream pie. Granted, still good, but... not a great showcase of skills."
{sticks resume at bottom of pile}
(Note: The above is a joke that was clearly called for. :D )
Okay, I officially hate you! Mean!
(Even if I did tell you to post it)
:D
According to these standards, my shidduch resume would be about 90 pages long.
No one wants to marry a girl who eats milchigs on Fri night anyway. Next time post a roast or something if you want to generate interest :P
Erachet - definitely macaroni and ketchup kind of girl. (Macaronis ... ::shudder::)
Diana - true dat
Ed - !! It's PAREVE! *And* it still tasted good. :D
Too bad Ed isn't my Facebook friend. He would drool at the album I just posted.
Maybe he can see the pictures I just tagged of The Apple though...
Parve quiche...who would waste their time on that.
You should have stuck with milchigs as an answer instead
Diana- I couldn't see your pics, but you can post the link to the public album...or friend me.
Diana, me too
SaraK you don't compulsively take pictures of the food you are making...
looks delicious
Diana,
No I don't, but if I did, I would have lots. And I do have a picture of a really nice turkey that I once made for Thanksgiving. And challah that I baked.
Yum.... :-D
[puts on hat]
[gets in line]
[holds out plate]
I'd like to sample your resume before wasting any time on a date.
[lunchtime]
[puts on hat]
[gets in line]
[holds out plate]
I'd like to sample your resume before wasting any time on a date.
[lunchtime]
Hey, if we're allowed to sample even with no intention of utilizing said resume... I'm hungry, too!
What?! I'm just taking cues from the schnorrer above.
no intention of utilizing said resume
You could always forward it to relevant parties.
:D
You could always forward it to relevant parties.
:D
Who says I haven't? :)
[remainder of comment edited for content]
Good one :-)
(The post and the comments. I'm grinning. That's a lot to ask at this time of year)
So we're not allowed to compliment, but we're allowed to sample. There's something twisted with that logic
There's something twisted with that logic
You're just figuring that out now?
Apple,
Re your comment on b4s's blog about kugel being a dirty word in your house, send me an email and I'll send you some recipes for different kugels that will pass muster in the most finicky of health conscious houses.
Ezzie's first comment says it all... At least no DELI ROLL!
(I think I said over the "deli roll theory" at a ser/ez meal once, right?)
What's the deli roll theory?
Mordy - I think more than once. :) But I thought you'd appreciate.
I know just...
...the guy for
you
(I think I said over the "deli roll theory" at a ser/ez meal once, right?)
I never heard it! But I've also never really been at serandez for shabbos at the same time as you, Mordy.
The Deli Roll Theory:
(As confirmed and verified by girls from various seminaries)
The Deli Roll Theory posits that if a boy asks a girl (most commonly, on a date) whether or not she knows how to cook and the girl says, "I make a great deli roll," the boy may conlcude that the girl in fact has absolutely no clue how to cook.
This postulation is based on the first notion that deli roll is about as easy to make as a toasted pastrami sandwich.
It is also based on the second notion that deli roll is almost impossible to screw up. I say almost impossible because there will always be overachieving women out there that will somehow manage to make a horrible deli roll.
Proof to the theory may be presented via the known fact that if one is capable of producing a fine roast beef, brisket, or other delectable slab 'o cow, then they would much rather refer (perhaps on the aforementioned "Shidduch Resume") to that wonderful and greatly sought after skill, as opposed to their negligible deli roll abilities.
For more of my amazing theories, please press 1.
For English, press 2.
For Spanish, press 3.
For Yiddish, press 4.
For English with the extra U's, press 5.
To hang up, press Esc.
For an operator, please stay on the line or e-mail me.
I press 5! :)
And, btw, I believe the correct formulation of the theory should read: "The Deli Roll Theory posits that if a boy asks a girl (most commonly, on a date) whether or not she knows how to cook, and the girl says, "I make a mean deli roll," the boy may conclude that the girl, in fact, has absolutely no clue how to cook.
This is so funny - I don't make deli roll. I am not so good at the rolling part. But I make mean ribs. And ask Shmez about the mini tacos.
I press 4! (and 1) You know what I'm talking about...!
Also, we're still waiting for Diana to prove the ribs, but definitely have to give thanks for the mini tacos.
For more of my amazing theories, please press 1.
So...what language does that option come in, then?
Jeez SJ, I can't get anything by you!!! Yes, you are correct, the original language of the theory read as you quoted.
Mad good catch. (HAHAHAHA)
And D, I'm not so much a ribs guy honestly. (Too messy.)
Delmonico steak on the other hand, or a nice silver tip... Now that's the stuff right there.
And Ezzie, I get you on the Pressing 4 (that's exactly why I put it there... hehe), but which of my other theories do you want to hear?
There's the:
"Why Chassidim can't drive" theory;
"Why Sharfman's girls get so fat" theory;
"Why dogs like fire hydrants so much" theory;
on-going "great Star Wars/Matrix debate";
"Carlito's Way vs. Scarface" theory;
And I can't remember anymore at the moment...
Eh, no habla englez senora... si por que si?! Ok meng. I muh jur lun?
Mordy - if you were my Facebook friend you would see the awesome rib steak I made last Friday. It was a work of beauty.
For an operator, please stay on the line or e-mail me.
Hello, is this the operator? I was wondering if I could request some more deep and meaningful theories of life and if I could have them translated into Swahili, please? Thank you!
re: Deli Roll theory
I never asked a girl whether she can cook, i just got lucky, no one leaves our table hungry.
Proof that deli roll is not cooking: I actually make the deli roll for shabbos!
the chocholate pie looks delicious
that was funny
And why can't Chassidim drive perzaclty??? [Mindy takes offense at statement]
Noodle- ur hilarious.
-your fav. schottie 3e member hehe
Stay where you are! I'm coming over.
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