Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Guide to living on the wrong side of the tracks

1. Internalize that you live on the wrong side of the tracks. Your side is undesirable. Otherwise, your life will just be a series of disappointments.

2. Never expect anything of anyone who lives on the right side of the tracks.
a) This way, when they cross the tracks, you are pleasantly surprised.
b) Otherwise, see above.

3. Except, secretly, your side is really better.

4. Ignore 1. But keep 2 in mind.

5. Decide that your side is really the right side.
a) Now everyone on the previously right side of the tracks is on the wrong side.
b) Even though they are living under the delusion that their side is the right side.

6. Internalize that you live on the right side of the tracks and be happy. But:

7. Never forget what it was like to be on wrong side of the tracks, and never be like the people on the right side of the tracks.